When The Sand Runs Out
by WeBuiltThePyramids
Summary: "I'm acting this way because...because I don't know what else to do." Paige attempts to comfort Sylvester and Walter after a loss, with the two of them reacting in completely different ways. TW: character death.


**I've been feeling really down lately, which usually results in me churning out sad fic, and I had a sentence in my phone notes, where I have a ton of sentences that I think of at random times and would like to incorporate into writing at some point, that I felt I could wrap this fic around.**

* * *

They approached the waiting room in silence, having acknowledged each other with a nod. All of them wondered what they would find upon reaching the waiting room, all of them regretted not staying overnight, not being realistic enough to think they might be needed so soon.

"Hello, guys," said the receptionist on duty – if they'd spoken to each other they'd realize half of them thought this was Eric and half of them thought his name was Eddie, but they stayed silent. "Go on through."

Happy and Paige's shoulders bumped as they pushed through the doorframe to the hallway, such a familiar path to them now, and they'd only been making it for three days, since the phone call that had drained them all of any possible post case joy. Ralph got left behind, still hanging onto his mother's hand to prevent himself from being shuffled farther back.

She glanced back to make sure he was still following her. It occurred to him that when things were urgent, that's what she did, forged ahead, and trusted that he'd follow her, handle himself. He felt proud that she gave him that responsibility. Then he felt guilty for being proud at a time like this.

"Oh, buddy," Toby said when they entered the room, and no one knew who he was talking to, because the entire scene was enough to put Happy and Ralph in tears and reducing Paige to a frozen, hardened stance that was her fierce attempt to keep it together in front of her son.

Sylvester was on the floor, kneeling and bent over, his head near the floor and his hands up in his hair, twisting it around his fingers in a way that would likely cause him considerable pain had it been any other day. He was shaking, and a slight, pained sound coming from him.

Walter was sitting on the bed, clutching Megan to him, his eyes squeezed shut, his body rocking back and forth as if that soothing motion would bring her back.

They looked at each other, Happy glancing at Toby, Ralph at Paige, both of them asking what they were supposed to do now. "Do they know we're here?" Happy mouthed.

Four shoulders rose and fell in answer.

* * *

"Hey, hey Sly," Paige said, letting go of Ralph's hand and moving toward the man on the floor. She knelt beside him, putting a hand on his back. "Hey."

He raised his head, his eyes bloodshot, and he rose up into a full kneelin position, clearning his throat. "Paige," he said, the sounds barely coming out before the older woman scooted closer and pulled him into a hug. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, the tears leaking out as she tried to draw him closer. "God, I'm so sorry."

"Walt, pal?" Toby asked, inching closer to Walter. Still holding his sister's body in a vice like grip, Walter set his jaw, a subtle indication that he wanted to shut everything out. "Walter."

A whimpering sound came from Ralph, and, in a gesture he hadn't made since he was a toddler, he looked up at Happy and raised his arms. She bent and gathered him up, closing her eyes so she didn't have to see all the monitors that were turned off.

Toby bit his lip as he watched his best friend cling to Megan's body. This wasn't like Walter. Walter didn't believe in spirits or souls. A logical Walter would say there was no reason to have anything to do with Megan's body now, and yet he seemed to believe that if he held her tightly enough, he could keep her there.

"Sly, did you say goodbye?" Paige asked gently.

Sylvester nodded. "She knew we were here."

"Good," Paige said, not sure why the tone that came out of her mouth sounded so encouraging, but she figured it couldn't hurt, "that's good. Why don't we go get you something to drink?" She felt encouraged herself when he nodded and his mouth formed the word "okay," even though no sound came out. "Come on." She patted his back and rose, him shakily following her up. She glanced over at Walter – she couldn't bear the scene for more than a moment, then caught Toby's eye. "We'll be out there."

* * *

She handed him the cup and Sylvester felt the water cross his tongue but he didn't feel any better. It was cold, but he didn't even feel the chill that followed swallowing ice water. He felt nothing, absolutely nothing.

Then he felt something. Paige's hand was resting gently on his knee. "Sylvester," she said slowly, "I don't even know what to say...but I know...I know she was glad you two were there. You guys were her whole world, you know that, don't you?"

"Yeah," Sylvester said, nodding. "She told me a lot." He was surprised to feel the corner of his mouth turning up ever so slightly. "I..." his voice was heavy, "I told Walter she was a chance I needed to take, and..." he looked up, making eye contact with Paige, "I was right about that. I...I hate that..." he let out a shaky breath, "she's probably the last person that deserved all this, but I'm glad. I'm glad I knew her, and I'm glad that I loved her. I told Walter that all of this would be worth it, and right now I just feel like I want to curl up in a corner and hibernate for twenty years but you know? I don't regret it. Not for one second."

"I'm really proud of how you're handling this, Sly," Paige said, squeezing his hand.

His voice cracked. "It's how she would want me to," he told her. "She told me last night...she told us...that whenever she wasn't here to be strong anymore that we had to be strong for her." He smiled a moment, then looked at Paige with a worried look. "I don't have a good feeling about Walter."

"He'll be okay," Paige said. "You'll both be okay with a little time."

"No, I mean..." Sylvester held Paige's gaze, "please go check on Walter. I know he's more messed up than I am. He was so busying worrying about her, and about me...he forgets to take care of himself."

* * *

Paige arrived back at the room to find neither O'Brien. "Oh God, what did he do?"

"He finally let the staff take Megan's body," Happy said from where she sat in the chair near the bed. Ralph was in her lap, his hands on his knees, looking at the floor.

"And _he_ went where?"

"How's Sly?"

"Fine," she said, glancing at Toby.

"He stormed out," Happy said. "Walter, that is."

"I used my pick pocketing skils," Toby said quickly when Paige, wild eyed, whirled for the door. "He can't drive."

"Can one of you go out to the waiting room and make sure Sylvester's still coping?" she said. "Ralph, want to go do that for me, baby?"

Ralph slid off Happy's lap and walked to his mom, his chin raised slightly, his indication that he wanted to talk to her. She lowered her head.

"Can I have money for the vending machine?"

Paige pulled out a couple dollars and was about to press them into her son's hand when she realized he wasn't asking for food. Mentally calculating how many different candies he'd need for a full chess set, she emptied her wallet of singles. "Promise me you will drink some water at least," she said, raising her eyebrows. The boy nodded.

* * *

"Walter!" she shouted as she ran outside, not exactly sure where his car was and knowing she'd never find it in the dark. " _Walter_!"

She ran a few yards in one direction and then stopped, hearing a banging sound from the other way. Spinning around, she sprinted down the sidewalk to the source of the sound. "Walter, stop!"

He was holding a garbage can lid – how did this place have metal garbage cans? – in his hand, and as she ran toward him, he threw it forcefully against the wall of the hospital. It hit with a loud bang, then rattled on the ground. He picked it up again, this time launching it on the opposite direction. It made contact with the front of his car, busting the headlight.

"Walter, don't!" she ran up to him as he picked up the lid again, and she grabbed his arm, trying to pull the lid away from him. He reacted like a wounded animal, making a terrifying sound and shaking her off, darting a few feet away. He stopped suddenly. "Paige?"

 _He had no idea I was here, even inside._ "Walter," she said, "please don't do that. Put it down."

"I don't have my keys," he said, dropping the lid and pacing around his car. "I don't know where my keys are, I can't do anything!" He slammed his hands down forcefully on the trunk of his car.

 _Since when does Walter get physical?_ Paige remembered the first time that question had been posed. They'd all quickly learned that Megan was the only one to bring this side out of him. "Walter stop!" she said. "This wasn't your fault!"

"Not my fault?" he said, looking insulted that she'd shift the blame off of him. "I couldn't find a cure, I couldn't help her, I'm the fourth smartest person to exist in the modern time and all I could do was..." he picked the lid up and flung it like a Frisbee.

"Walter, I know this is so hard for you, I can't imagine what you're feeling, but try not to be angry," she begged. "Megan loved you, and she wouldn't want you to act this way."

Walter's eyes flashed. "Are you...can you even _hear yourself_ right now?" he said, his voice sounding unfamiliar.

She was startled. "Hey hey, what..."

"You can't say..." he shook his head angrily, "you can't say that I'm using this as an excuse to be angry and irrational, as...as if I've always wanted to be this way and this just finally gave me the reason I've been looking for." His eyes bore into hers. "I am _not_ acting this way because I want to," he said, gesturing to himself as if there was anyone else he could be talking about. "I am acting this way because..." his face contorted with emotion and he had to swallow hard before he could continue, "because she is _gone_ , and... _and I don't know what else to do_." He put his hands on his head and walked in a small circle, coming back to face Paige again. "She has been here for every moment of my life and I do not know how to exist without her. I don't know who I _am_ without her." He pointed to himself again. "My identity has always been her brother. And I'm..." tears escaped his eyes. "I'm not a brother anymore. _I don't have a sister anymor_ e."

"What do I do?" Paige asked. "Just tell me what I need to do."

Walter stopped then – the first time he was still since she'd seen him the day before – and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Do you have your car?"

"No."

He knew what she was really saying. "Not for me. You drive. Just...I can't be here."

Paige nodded. "Okay..."

"Only if Ralph's okay with it," Walter said quickly.

A quick phone call answered that question. "He said 'mom, leave me along, I'm winning,'" she said a smile daring to peek out onto her face if only momentarily. She pushed her phone back into her pocket. "Okay. Where to?"

He followed her as she approached her car. "Just drive."

* * *

 **For some reason I feel Sylvester would actually handle Megan's death a lot better than Walter would...maybe just because Walter was so worried about them getting involved for Sly's sake and Sly assured him he understood everything, and we know Walter gets very emotional when he's upset about his sister.**


End file.
